Parent's Survey | Kid's Survey The Whole Story | Home Page "Let's Connect" Family Communication Guide

Survey Summary * Most parents (58%) and almost three-quarters of the kids (73%) said they spend less than an hour a day in conversation; nearly half the kids (46%) and about a quarter of the parents (27%) said they spend less than a half-hour a day talking to each other. * Most parents underestimate the maturity of their kids and have misconceptions about what's important to them. Parents said the top priorities for their kids are: 1) fun, 2) friends, and 3) looks. Kids said their top priorities are: 1) their future; 2) their schoolwork; and 3) family matters. * Only 1 in 5 kids (20%) said it was very easy to talk to their parents about things that really mattered; more than a quarter (26 percent) said it was "somewhat difficult" or "very difficult" to talk about such things. * Most kids (57%) said that their parents don't always give them a chance to explain themselves. Most parents (51%) felt the same way, that their kids don't always give them a chance to explain themselves. * Kids are more interested in the opposite sex than their parents think - almost two-thirds (62%) of kids surveyed said the opposite sex was an important issue, while only about half (52%) of parents thought their kids were interested in boyfriends or girlfriends. Questions and Answers First, I have a list of things that some people have suggested might improve communications between Children and their Parents. Let's start with (FIRST ITEM). Do you think that's an excellent idea, a good idea, just an okay idea, or a poor idea to improve communications between Parents and Children. a. Always compromise so everyone gets a little of what they want. Excellent Good Okay Poor Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child 37% 39% 41% 44% 15% 15% 6% 2% b. Set up some regular one-on-one time each week so that you can spend time together without distractions. Excellent Good Okay Poor Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child 62% 35% 31% 40% 6% 22% 1% 3% c. Work on projects together. Excellent Good Okay Poor Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child 64% 42% 34% 42% 2% 14% * 2% d. Have Children/Parents ease up on what they expect from Parents/Children. Excellent Good Okay Poor Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child 21% 29% 38% 38% 18% 23% 18% 8% e. Spend more time with each other. Excellent Good Okay Poor Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child 71% 57% 26% 31% 2% 10% * 1% Generally speaking, when you talk to your Children/Parents about things that really matter to you, would you say such conversations are:   Parents Kids Very easy for you, 50% 20% Somewhat easy for you, 38 53 Somewhat difficult for you, or 10 22 Very difficult for you 1 4 don't know 1 1 Now I'm going to read a list of things and I'd like you to tell me how important you think they are to your Child/to you. Let's start with ______. Do you think it is very important, somewhat important, not too important, or not at all important to your Child/to you?   Very Important Somewhat Important Not Too Important Not at All Important    Parent  Child  Parent  Child Parent  Child  Parent  Child Their/your schoolwork 56% 83% 32% 14% 10% 2% 1% 1% Their/your friends 72 70 26 25 1 3 * 1 Their/your appearance 60 60 33 31 6 8 1 1 Rules in your house 45 63 39 30 11 4 2 2 Money 40 37 44 38 13 21 2 3 The music you/they listen to 41 26 44 41 13 26 2 7 The opposite sex, or boyfriends or girlfriends 16 23 36 39 28 22 17 13 Watching television 35 15 45 41 18 36 2 8 Being popular 27 14 50 40 18 34 4 11 Technology like Computers and the Internet 47 43 41 43 9 12 2 2 Their/your future 54 87 31 11 11 1 2 * Having Fun 82 70 16 26 1 3 -- * Activities after school 43 36 42 45 12 15 3 4 Family matters or issues 52 72 38 24 9 3 1 1 Sports 42 49 37 35 15 10 5 6 What their/your friendthink Of them/you 58 35 32 39 8 14 2 11 Food 56 56 35 35 8 7 1 1 Now I have a list of things that sometimes happen when Parents and kids talk. Let's start with (FIRST ITEM) Does that happen often, sometimes, rarely, or never when you talk to your Child/Parent. My Child/my Parents don't give me a chance to explain myself. Often Sometimes Rarely Never Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child 15% 20% 37% 37% 31% 21% 17% 21% My Child/my Parents use(s) words or language I don't understand. Often Sometimes Rarely Never Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child 6 11 16 33 40 26 38 29 My Child/my Parents pay(s) attention to my feelings. Often Sometimes Rarely Never Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child  49  69  42  23 6  6 3  1 My Child/my Parents talk(s) to me with respect. Often Sometimes Rarely Never Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child  66  70  30  23  3  5 1  2 My Child/my Parents is/are interested in my opinions. Often Sometimes Rarely Never Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child 46 57 44 33 9 5 2 4 How much time do you spend talking with your Child/your Parents each day? Would you say:   Parents Kids Less than fifteen minutes 4% 13% Fifteen minutes to a half an hour 23 33 Between half an hour and an hour 31 27 One to two hours 24 14 More than two hours 17 11 No amount of time * 1 Never talk about things I want to talk about * 1 6. I have a list of some different times Parents and Children talk to each other. Let's start with (READ FIRST ROTATED ITEM). Is that a time you are very likely to talk to your Child/your Parents, somewhat likely to talk to your Child/your Parents, a time you are not too likely to talk to your Child/your Parents, or a time you are not at all likely to talk to your Child/your Parents?   Very likely Somewhat likely Not too likely Not at all likely Time/Locale Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child Bedtime 43% 26% 35% 37% 17% 24% 6% 12% Weekends 72 56 24 34 3 8 1 2 Breakfast 25 23 25 32 29 26 21 18 During a special occasion, like going out for ice cream 71 58 25 30 2 7 1 4 Dinner 64 61 26 28 6 7 4 3 While driving 63 45 28 37 6 12 3 6 At sporting events 21 27 27 34 26 23 23 15 While shopping 44 47 35 34 14 14 7 4 7a. Is/are your Child/your Parents ever too busy to talk to you?   Parents Kids Yes 35% 27% No 65 71 Don't know 1 2 7b. (IF YES) Would you say your Child/your Parents is/are too busy to talk to you all the time, sometimes, or just once in a while? Base: Parents/Children Whose Child/Parents Has/Have "Ever" Been Too Busy to Talk to Them   Parents Kids All the time 2% 4% Sometimes 49 61 Just once in a while 49 35 8a. Are you ever too busy to talk to your Child/your Parents?   Parents Kids Yes 57% 34% No 42 65 don't know 1 * 8b. (IF YES) Would you say you are too busy to talk to your Child/your Parents all of the time, sometimes, or once in a while? Base: Parents/Children Who Have "Ever" Been Too Busy to Talk To Children/Parents   Parents Kids All the time 1% 3% Sometimes 53 54 Just once in a while 46 42 don't know - 1 9. I'd like you to think about the conversations you usually have with your Child/your Parents. Would you say your conversations are usually:   Parents Kids mostly enjoyable or 81% 74% mostly annoying? 7 17 Neither 2 * Both 9 9 don't know * * mostly interesting or 88 75 mostly boring? 6 16 Neither 2 * Both 5 8 don't know ñ 1 mostly satisfying or 74 73 mostly frustrating? 10 18 Neither 2 1 Both 13 9 don't know 1 * 10. When you talk to your Child/your Parents about (FIRST ITEM). Would you say they listen to your point of view always, some of the time, or never?   Always Some of the time Never   Parent Child Parent Child Parent Child Their/your schoolwork 45% 71% 51% 28% 4% 1% Their/your friends 28 45 68 48 3 6 Their/your appearance 29 41 66 52 4 5 Rules in your house 46 42 52 51 2 7 Money 31 26 60 68 9 4 The opposite sex, or boyfriends or girlfriends 29 34 62 50 7 13 Family matters or issues 46 55 53 41 1 4 The way they/you keep their room 19 43 57 43 24 14 How they/you spend their/your time 23 41 73 55 3 3 Their/your future 39 72 59 26 2 2 Technology like computers or the Internet 44 33 48 56 6 11 The music your Child/you listen(s) to 27 36 62 55 10 8 Things Parents And Kids Want To Talk To Each Other About 11. In your words, what is the number one thing you really want to talk to your Child/Parent about? Parents Base:  505 Education/school (net) 40% Education/the importance of education 18 Schoolwork 12 School 9 Grades 3 Future (Net) 32 The Future 29 Future education/college 4 Drugs / alcohol / substance abuse 15 God / religion / spirituality 15 Their friends / relationships / who they hang out with 14 Responsibility 9 Sex 9 Morals / Values 9 Behavior 8 Respect 8 Boyfriends / Girlfriends / Opposite Sex 7 Whatís going on in their lives / personal issues 5 Nothing 12 Other 11 don't know 8 Responses given by less than 5% not shown.   Things Parents And Kids Want To Talk To Each Other About 11. In your words, what is the number one thing you really want to talk to your Child/Parent about? Kids Base:  505 Education/school (net) 39% Education 4 Schoolwork 22 School 14 Future (Net) 27 The Future 25 Future education/college 4 Friends/who I hang out with 18 Family matters/family 11 Boyfriends/girlfriends/opposite sex 10 Money/allowance 7 The school day/what happens at school 7 Spending time with family/ activities/trips/vacations 7 Nothing 20 Other 15 don't know 17 Responses given by less than 5% not shown. 12. In the past week which of the following have you used to communicate with your Child?    Parents %  a standard phone  46  a cell phone  20  an answering machine  12  email/the Internet  3  a pager  9  the US mail  2 notes, cards or letters left someplace special in the house such as the refrigerator  34   The Philips "Let's Connect" survey, conducted by Roper Starch Worldwide by telephone, is based on a national cross-section of 505 middle school students, grades 5-8, and their Parents. It has a margin of error of +/- 4 percentage points at a 95% confidence level for base sizes of 505.