It's tough being the parent of a pre-teen, especially during these very busy and stressful times. Pre-teen children have different needs -- and make different demands -- than they did a few years ago.

If you want to get through to your pre-teen or teenage kids, you're going to have to use some techniques you probably didn't use a few years ago, as well as some tried-and-true methods. Here are a few suggestions:

1. MAKE THE TIME. One of the best ways to improve communication with your child is to do more of it. The Philips "Let's Connect" survey found that most kids and parents say they spend an hour or less a day talking; many say a half hour or less. In today's busy world that's understandable. But it makes it even more important to make sure you set aside time to talk. That doesn't mean you have to hold a formal meeting. Sometimes the best discussions take place while you're driving the car or puttering around the kitchen. Keep in mind that pre-teens want to talk to their parents about important or confusing issues in their lives. They just feel awkward and uncomfortable.

2. LISTEN TO THE LITTLE STUFF. Kids will talk to you if they know you're going to listen. Sometimes they will talk about heavy issues like sex and drugs. Other times - most times - they'll talk about everyday things like schoolwork, their friends and what's for dinner. If your kids know you're listening to the little things, they're more likely to trust you enough to talk about the big things.

3. LISTEN BETWEEN THE LINES. A lot of kids in the Philips survey said they found it hard to talk to their parents about things that really mattered. That's not surprising, considering that kids are going through a very awkward age. But it means that parents have to pay special attention to what their kids may be trying to say. It helps to pay particular attention to emotions -- not just the emotion itself, but its intensity, too. If your daughter comes home furious about something, begin by saying that you can see that she's very angry. If your son seems a bit down, mention that he looks a little sad. By acknowledging the emotions, you're letting your child know that you notice and are interested in how he or she feels.

4. AKS THEIR OPINION. Few things please children (or anybody else) more than being asked their opinion. You don't have to ask about important issues all the time, either. Ask about ordinary things. What do you think of that show, that car, my sweater, your teacher?

5. DON'T INTERRUPT. In the national survey, more than half the children said that when they talked, their parents often or sometimes didn't give them a chance to explain themselves. It's a good idea to give your children some extra time to explain their opinion or desires, even if you think you know what they're going to say.

It's also a good idea to recognize that your child is growing up. Talk about the good ways your child is changing and the new things he or she can do, such as see both sides of an argument or talk about complicated issues.